Positive Self-Talk
By Joe Love
One of the most powerful influences on your attitude and personality is
what you say to yourself. It is not what happens to you, but how you respond
internally to what happens to you, that determines your thoughts, feelings,
and your actions. By controlling your inner dialogue, or your “self talk,”
you can begin to assert control over every part of your life.
Your self-talk determines the majority of your emotional life. The words
that you use to describe what is happening to you, and how you feel about
external events, will trigger the emotions of happiness or unhappiness that
you experience. When you see things positively and you look for the good in
every situation and in each person, you will become a very positive and
optimistic person. Since the quality of your life is determined by how you
feel moment to moment, you should make it a habit to only think and talk
about what you want and keep your mind off of what you don’t want.
You are constantly faced with challenges, difficulties, and problems
every day of your life. They are unavoidable and one of the inevitable parts
of being human. But as you draw upon your resources to respond effectively
to each challenge, you grow and become a stronger person. When you look back
over your life, you’ll see that you are the kind of person that you are
because of all the difficulties and problems that you have had to overcome
in your life. Without those setbacks, you could not have learned what you
needed to know to developed the character and strength that you have at this
point in your life.
Much of your ability to succeed comes from the way you deal with life.
Having a positive mental attitude is indispensable for success and
happiness. It is the key to success in business, and it is vital to building
strong relationships with other people. Everyone wants to be around a
positive person with a cheerful attitude towards life. But no one wants to
be around a negative person who is always pessimistic about everything. Your
ability to develop and maintain a positive mental attitude, no matter what
the situation may be, will play a critical role in any success you achieve.
One of the best ways to define a positive mental attitude is having “a
constructive and positive response to adversity.” It is only when you are
confronted with a setback or adversity that you really know if you have a
positive attitude or not. Anyone can be positive when things are going well.
It is only when things are going against you, that you are able to
demonstrate to yourself and others, that you have a positive character and
personality.
One of the common characteristics of all high achieving men and women is
that they recognize the inevitability of temporary setbacks and
disappointments. They accept them as a normal and natural part of their
life. They do everything possible to avoid problems, but when they come up,
successful people learn from them and rise above them. They continue to move
forward towards their goals.
Optimistic people develop the habit of talking to themselves in
constructive ways. Whenever they experience adversity of any kind, they
immediately describe it to themselves in a such a way that it looses its
ability to trigger negative emotions. They are able to exert a sense of
control by how they describe any event or situation to themselves.
There is a natural tendency in all of us to react emotionally when our
expectations are frustrated in any way. When something we wanted and hoped
for fails to materialize, we feel a temporary sense of disappointment and
unhappiness. We feel hurt and disillusioned. We react just as though we had
been punched in the “emotional solar plexus.”
A person who is positive and optimistic is resilient and bounces back
fast when he or she encounters a problem or setback of any kind. He or she
responds quickly to an adverse event and interprets it as being temporary
and only external. An optimistic person takes full control of his or her
inner dialogue and counters any negative feelings by immediately reframing
the event so that appears positive in some way.
Since your mind can hold only one thought at a time, either positive or
negative, if you deliberately choose the positive thought to dwell upon, you
keep your mind optimistic and your emotions positive. Since your thoughts
and feelings determine you actions, if you keep your words and thoughts
positive, you will automatically be a more positive person and move more
rapidly toward your goals.
It all comes down to the way you talk to yourself on a daily basis. When
a problem or difficulty comes up you must learn to change your language from
negative to positive. For example, you should learn to use the word
situation instead of problem. A problem is something you wrestle and
struggle with. It represents a potential loss and difficultly. A situation,
on the other hand, is just something that you deal with. The event is the
same. But the way you interpret the event to yourself is what makes it sound
and appear completely different.
An even better word to substitute for problem is the word challenge. When
you are faced with a difficulty of any kind, instead of saying, “I have a
problem,” you should say, “I have an interesting challenge facing me.” The
word challenge is inherently positive. It is something that you rise to and
that makes you stronger. It is again the same situation, only the word that
you are using to describe it is different. As a result, your emotional
response will be different as well.
The best of all possible words for any event or situation is the word
opportunity. When you are faced with a difficulty of any kind, instead of
saying, “I have a problem,” you should say, “I am faced with an unexpected
opportunity.” Within ever difficulty or problem, there lies the seed of an
equal or greater opportunity or benefit. If you focus your attention on
finding out what the valuable lesson is, you will always find it.
You should start your day in front of a mirror saying affirmations, such
as “I like myself,” “I am the best,“ and “I can do it.” These are personal
and positive affirmations that will build your levels of self confidence and
self-esteem. You should say these affirmations out loud in front of a mirror
at least 50 times a day. By doing this, you will be driving these new
positive thoughts deep into your subconscious. At first when you do this,
you’ll feel kind of funny doing it, only because your mind over many years
has been programmed with so much negativity that it will take time to
reprogram your mind with these new positive affirmations.
The hallmark of the truly successful and happy person is the ability to
be objective and unemotional when caught up in the inevitable storms of
daily life. The high achieving individual has the ability to continue
talking to himself or herself in a positive and optimistic way no matter
what the situation is. They are always calm, clear, and completely under
control. As a result, they are able to exert a far greater sense of control
and influence over their environment, and are less likely to be angry,
upset, or distracted by problems or difficulties.
The starting point of becoming a more positive person is to monitor and
control your self-talk every minute of the day. Keep your thoughts and words
positive and consistent with your goals. Keep your mind focused on what you
want and on becoming the person you want to be.
Remember that it is impossible to learn, grow and become successful
without adversity and difficulties. You must rise above them in order to
become a better person. So, welcome each difficulty as a learning experience
and look into the situation to find something good or beneficial in it.
Always, keep your thoughts on your future and on your goals. Constantly
think about the person you want to become. When things go wrong temporarily,
respond by saying to yourself, “I believe in the perfect outcome of every
situation in my life.” Resolve to be cheerful and pleasant in every
situation. Resist every temptation to respond to a situation negatively.
View disappointment as an opportunity to grow stronger, and talk to yourself
and others about it in a positive and optimistic way.
When you practice positive self-talk, and keep your words and your mental
pictures consistent with your goals, nothing can stop you from being the
success you are meant to be.
Copyright© 2005 by Joe Love and JLM & Associates, Inc. All rights
reserved worldwide.
Joe Love draws on his 25 years of experience helping both individuals and
companies build their businesses, increase profits, and achieve total
success. A former ad agency executive and marketing consultant, Joe’s work
in personal development focuses on helping his clients identify hidden
marketable assets that create windfall opportunities and profits, as well as
sound personal happiness and peace.
Reach Joe at:
joe@jlmandassociates.com
Read more articles and newsletters at:
http://www.jlmandassociates.com
Article Source:
http://EzineArticles.com/
|
