|
 |
Ten Tips For Beating Depression
By Marsha Jordan
I heard about a woman who was suffering from depression, so her concerned
husband took her to a psychiatrist. The doctor listened to the couple talk
about their relationship, and then he said, "The treatment I prescribe is
really quite simple." With that, he went over to the man's wife, gathered
her up in his arms, and gave her a big kiss. He then stepped back and looked
at the woman's glowing face and broad smile. Turning to the woman's husband,
he said, "See! That's all she needs to put new life back into her."
Expressionless, the husband said, "If you say so, Doc, I can bring her in on
Tuesdays and Thursdays."
Okay, that's not how to treat depression, but I have a few other
suggestions that make more sense. As a result of trial and error, over the
course of thirty years, I've found ten blues battling strategies that often
help me. These are not quick fixes, and this list is not exhaustive. It is
also not a "must do" list.
When you're depressed, the last thing you need is a list of expectations
to live up to. Don't stress about forcing yourself to accomplish all these
things. They're not items to be checked off a list each day. The only one
that is crucial is number one. After that, you can experiment with the
others as you feel able to.
1) Get the Facts and Get Help.
Web sites and books on depression abound. Find them and do some research.
You need to know what you're dealing with. Learn all you can about
depression, so you can make educated decisions about your own health, learn
how others cope, and find what medical treatment is available. Many books
have self tests to help you determine whether you are experiencing clinical
depression or temporary sadness in reaction to an event. In addition to
reading everything you can get your hands on, one of the most important
things you can do for yourself is seek medical help right away. Depression
is much too complicated for you to solve on your own. Clinical depression is
a serious medical condition that is very complicated to treat. Often it is a
physical problem that requires long term medication. In my own experience,
it's taken years of medication, counseling, and practicing various self help
methods to slowly emerge from it, and it's still a daily battle.
Many people suffer needlessly from depression because they won't consult
a doctor. If you're waiting for God to heal you, consider this: God gives
scientists intelligence, which they often use to create helpful medicines;
and He gives doctors wisdom to treat illnesses. Wise doctors and modern
medicines are gifts from God and vehicles through which He often heals.
Doctors can help you determine whether what you feel is truly depression, or
if you are just reacting normally to a sad life situation.
If you've experienced depression, you already know it is not an illness
you can "snap out of," no matter what others may tell you. It's not
something to be ashamed of either. Depression can be a serious physical
illness caused by an imbalance of brain chemicals or other factors. Like any
serious medical condition, depression needs to be treated. Without the
proper treatment, none of my suggested coping strategies will do any good.
2) Get Focused.
Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness pervade the life of a depressed
person. The opposite of depression is a hopeful attitude. Focusing on hope
and developing a hopeful heart is a must. It can be accomplished in a couple
ways. One way is to search the Bible for the numerous Scriptures that tell
how God has helped those who felt hopeless. It's helpful to memorize verses
like these: Hebrews 4:15 (For we do not have a high priest who is unable to
sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in
every way, just as we are—yet was without sin.); 2 Corinthians 4:8 & 9
(All-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on
every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but
not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.); Matthew 6:34 (Therefore do
not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has
enough trouble of its own.); Isaiah 41:10 (Do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I
will uphold you with my righteous right hand.); and John 14:27 (Peace I
leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world
gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.).
The story of Job and the book of Psalms are the most worn pages in my
Bible. While at my lowest, I've read and re-read them more times than I can
count. My fridge and the mirrors in my house are covered with sticky notes
reminding me of how God intervenes in the lives of His people.
Another way to focus on hope is by practicing positive self talk. This
simply means telling yourself good things. I made a list for myself of
positive affirmations like "God cares and understands my pain. God values
me. God is giving me strength. I am made in God's image. I can choose my
attitude. I choose not to put myself down. I'm a worthwhile person. I have a
purpose. I enjoy life. I choose to be happy and I am competent." If you
struggle with depression, I think you'll find it helpful to write down as
many of these affirmations as you can think of and read them every day. Even
if they're not currently true or you don't really believe them, it's okay.
Say them to yourself anyway. Your mind will come to believe what you tell
it, so tell it you are already the type of person you want to become. Be
sure to remind yourself often that God is with you and He is pouring his
strength on you. "Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you
disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him For the help
of His countenance. ...For You are the God of my strength..." (Psalm 42:5
and 43:2 NKJV)
2 Corinthians 4:18 says we need to "fix our eyes not on what is seen, but
on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is
eternal." Focusing on positive, heavenly things rather than earthly things
will keep the feelings of hopelessness at bay.
3) Get Friendly.
Fellowship with other people is a mood lifter. Being alone is the worst
thing you can do when you're depressed. Unfortunately, it's usually the very
thing I want most. Depression grows best in isolation. I find it very
difficult to get out and socialize when I'm depressed, but if I push myself
to do it, I'm almost always glad later. Some ideas for socializing include
joining a club, taking a class, inviting someone to meet you for lunch, or
visiting a nursing home to chat with the residents there. It especially
helps me to be with friends who enjoy the same hobbies I do. Shopping,
watching movies, and rubber stamping are some of the things I enjoy doing
alone, but they're twice as much fun when I do them with friends.
4) Get Giggling.
I collect cartoons and funny newspaper columns. I visit humor web sites
online, watch funny movies, and read funny books. Best of all is laughing
with friends. One of the reasons I enjoy my grandson so much is because he
makes me laugh. I can act goofy with him and let go of my inhibitions. We
dance and sing and make up silly rhymes. I have photographs of us wearing
funny glasses with big black mustaches. I laugh every time I look at those.
Laughing affects brain chemicals. It releases endorphins, which make you
feel good. Chocolate does the same thing, but a good laugh is less
fattening.
A friend of mine, who had a very frustrating job, told me that one day
she was inspired by someone who had a huge, bright smile. She decided to
emulate that woman and smile at everyone she encountered. Right away, she
realized that smiling was addictive. It seemed to make the time pass more
quickly and she found herself less frustrated and more at peace. She told
me, "It sounds corny, but it really works!"
Paul wrote, "Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say rejoice!"
(Philippians 4:4 NKJV) I've heard that a person can act her way into feeling
better. Act happy, act glad, and it helps you to feel happy and glad. Paul
exhibited this truth in his own life. Acts 16 tells how Paul and Silas were
attacked, beaten, locked in stocks, and thrown into solitary confinement.
Yet, at midnight, what were they doing? Feeling sorry for themselves? Asking
God, "Why?" Moaning and complaining like I do? No, they were singing! Sure
they were suffering, but they knew they were children of God. Paul may have
even been remembering his personal encounter with Jesus on the road to
Damascus. (Acts 22:10) They were praising God because they had been rescued
from their sins, filled by the Holy Spirit, and added to God's family. No
jailer could take that away. That was worth being grateful for, no matter
what else happened to them. Even if they were to be killed, it would only
send them to heaven. So why should they fear? That's some awesome faith,
isn't it?
5) Get Rhythm.
When I feel a case of the gloomies descending, that is not the time to
play melancholy music. Positive upbeat tunes are in order -- the sort of
music you might hear at a parade or a circus. Music gets your toes tapping
and your blood flowing. It makes you want to sing. Singing and dancing sends
a message to your brain that you're happy. Your brain is an actualizer.
Whatever it "thinks" is true, it works to bring about. This is why positive
thinking works. You tell yourself, "I'm happy" often enough and your brain
accepts it as fact. It actualizes that truth, making it happen. I've found
that when depression takes hold of me, I tend to ruminate on negative
thoughts. Listening to good, Christian music with positive lyrics helps to
pour good things into my brain and crowd those negative things out. There's
a list of good things to ponder in the fourth chapter of Paul's letter to
the Philippian church. It says to think about whatever is true, honest,
just, pure, lovely, noble, right, or admirable. Philippians 4:8 says, "If
anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things." Christian
music helps me accomplish this.
6) Get Busy
We all need to feel like we're involved in something significant. We need
to participate in something outside ourselves. You might consider
volunteering at a local women's shelter or food pantry. I've enjoyed both
and discovered that when I stay busy helping others and concentrating on
their problems, I get a break from focusing on my own troubles. This is how
HUGS and HOPE began. It started with a small effort to make a difference for
one family and it grew. I've learned that joy boomerangs. When you give it
away, it comes back to you. Helping others gives you the heart-warming
satisfaction of knowing you are making a difference in the world. That will
elevate your mood as well as your self esteem.
7) Get Physical
This is two-fold. Physical exercise is good for us, but physical contact
is equally important. Our bodies need to move to be healthy, and going for a
walk is the easiest exercise for me to do when I'm depressed. It doesn't
require as much energy and motivation as other activities. Breathing the
fresh air and looking at the beauty of nature can be helpful, and taking my
dog along is even better. Just watching his ears flop as he bounces down the
road in front of me often brings a smile to my face.
Exercise affects brain chemicals, and the healing touch of physical
closeness does too. If you're depressed, hug somebody - anybody, everybody!
A hug is good medicine. It reduces stress and tension and it boosts your
immunity to illness. Hugs raise self esteem and lower blood pressure. They
feel good and make people happy. And they're free! Hugs are the universal
language that communicates love and acceptance. They're healthy for the
"hugger" as well as the "hugee."
8) Get Quiet
I need to lean heavily on God's word and spend time with Him. When I
pray, I talk things over with God. When I read the Bible and meditate on it,
I hear Him speak to me and I contemplate what He says. I've found this to be
one of the best anti-depressants there is. However, I need to add a word of
caution here. Too much solitude can worsen depression. Isolating yourself
and avoiding people can make depression grow. Don't use meditation time as
an excuse to avoid human contact. Time with God is of the utmost importance,
but balance between quiet time alone and time spent with others is
essential.
9) Get Forgiveness – And Give it Too!
I've read that many psychiatrists agree that depression is guilt or anger
turned inward. David is an example of someone whose guilt led to depression.
After committing adultery, he wrote, "When I kept silent, my bones grew old
through my groaning all the day long. For day and night Your hand was heavy
upon me; My vitality was turned into the drought of summer." (Psalm 32:3-4)
Sin makes you feel bad, but when you receive God's forgiveness, your
guilt is removed; and often depression is removed too.
Depression can sometimes be caused from the need to forgive someone else
or yourself (whomever is making you angry). Grudges cause feelings of
frustration, which aggravate the hopeless feelings of depression. When we
forgive, we let go of past hurts and give up bitterness. Then depression has
no negativity on which to feed. If you free yourself from feelings of hate
and open yourself up to feelings of love, you may feel as if the depression
is physically lifting off your shoulders.
My friend Nance went through a difficult divorce, which left her bitter
about the past, anxious about the future, and miserable in general. She
harbored a lot of grudges and guilt, and she worried constantly. She felt
the need to control everything in her life, yet she knew she couldn't. After
attending a women's retreat, Nance realized what her negativity was doing to
her.She released her worries, fears, anger, and resentments at the foot of
the cross. Then she felt a renewal in her heart. She was happy and at peace.
When she was dying, Nance told me that the most difficult thing she'd
ever had to do was forgive – both her ex-husband and herself -- for past
mistakes. She said forgiving was even harder than dying!
Forgiveness isn't a simple one time event. It's a process that often
takes time (sometimes years), but it's an important step to healing.
Jesus taught forgiveness when he said we'd be forgiven in the same way we
forgive others, and when he told Peter we should forgive, not seven times,
but seventy times seven. Of course, Jesus also lived forgiveness. While
hanging on the cross, he looked at his torturers and said, "Father forgive
them for they do not know what they are doing." (Luke 23:34)
10) Get Thankful.
When I'm depressed, I need to make a conscious effort to count my blessings.
An attitude of hopelessness and discontent has a hard time competing with an
attitude of gratitude. 1 Thessalonians 5:28 says, "In everything give
thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." It's important
to remember that depression is not fatal and it doesn't last forever. You
WILL survive! Remind yourself that this cloud of despair will pass
eventually. It may seem like there's no light at the end of the tunnel, but
trust that there is; and be thankful for that, as you wait for the light to
appear.
So, while kisses from your husband (or a psychiatrist) may be great, they
can't cure depression. But along with medication and the proper treatment,
now you have some practical steps you can take for your own well being.
There are times when one of these strategies may be more helpful than the
rest. Other times, it may seem that none of them makes a huge difference.
But I keep practicing all of them anyway, because I know they are steps
toward a healthier lifestyle. Following them on a regular basis may not
eliminate depression forever, but they help me to minimize their severity.
These tips can be helpful for people who are not depressed too. They can
be useful for anyone who is a little discouraged, a little blue, or needs to
refocus on more positive things in life.
I hope that by trying these ideas you may find yourself on the way to
experiencing more joy.
******************
Author Marsha Jordan is founder of a nonprofit charity called Hugs and
Hope for Sick Children (http://www.hugsandhope.org).
More of her articles on depression are in her book, Hugs, Hope, and Peanut
Butter, a compilation of essays illustrated with drawings by critically ill
children. A wonderful mix of the serious and the zany, this book warms the
heart and lifts the spirit. PROCEEDS BENEFIT SICK KIDS! This book was
written to encourage anyone who faces disappointment -- which is EVERYone!
Some essays in the book include "What Did I Do To Deserve This?" "What Was
God Thinking?" and "More Than I Can Handle." Order the book or learn more at
http://www.hugsandhope.org/book.htm
Article Source:
http://EzineArticles.com/
|
