3 Powerful Ways to Portray Confidence and Success
By Emily Clark
A good number of women who are attacked are chosen because of the way
they presented themselves. Something about their posture told the assailant,
“here is a weak woman, I can take her”. If you are scared out of your gourd,
it will show.
Low self esteem or fearfulness looks like slouched shoulders; head down,
arms folded in front or in pockets. Confidence looks like walking tall,
shoulders back, head up, eye to eye contact, arms at the side. One statistic
revealed that those trained in martial arts are less likely to ever be
attacked because of the way they carry themselves. They’ve been trained to
defend themselves and to not take a weak position. They have confidence.
Try this experiment. The next time you’re in a public place, mall,
grocery store, the beach, no matter, walk past all the people and look them
directly in the eye. You might want to smile a little or offer a “how ya
doin’?” so they don’t think you’re stalking them. You’ll be amazed at the
number of people who will not look at you. They’ll look down or away but not
at you. Of course, in some cultures it’s not proper to look people in the
eye. Be sensitive to that. But in many circles you will find it hard to find
10 people who will look at you.
By you looking at them, in some subconscious way you’re communicating
that you are not afraid. You’re not sending nonverbal clues that you lack
confidence. To get into the practice of always looking people in the eye,
take it one step further and see what color eyes they have. It only takes a
quick glance, you’re not starring down people but if you make an effort to
determine eye color, you can be confident that you’re properly looking
people head on in the eyes.
Get your hands out of your pockets when you walk. Uncross those arms that
are locked across your chest. Not only does it look stronger and friendlier
to have open arms, it’s safer. Should the need arise that you need to thwart
off a would-be attacker; you’re going to need your arms to free yourself.
How easy it is for one to come up from behind you and grab you if your arms
are tucked neatly away? You’re just making it easy. How can you poke out
eyeballs, or jab Adam’s apples or throw an elbow to the ribs if your arms
are hugging yourself.
“But I AM scared,” you confess. There are two things you can do about
that. One is take some self defense classes and learn how to not be afraid.
The other and immediate method to change how you project yourself is to fake
it until you make it. You may be scared out of your wits, but if you get the
self talk going, “I am NOT afraid” and get the body language to follow it,
head up, shoulders back, arms open, then you’re at least giving the allusion
that you are not a weak prey.
Half of your battle is in the mind. Do something about it.
The information contained in this article is for educational purposes
only and is not intended to medically diagnose, treat or cure any disease.
Consult a health care practitioner before beginning any health care program.
Emily Clark is editor at
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