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We come into this world with total self-confidence/self-esteem. An infant
has self-confidence/self-esteem that their cries will get them what they
need--food, diaper change, cuddling, communication, soothing, etc. If the
child's needs are readily met and the child senses they are accepted
unconditionally they flourish. If their basic needs for survival and
emotional sustanence are only met sporadically or poorly their sense of
self-confidence/self-esteem begins to deteriorate. If the child continues to
experience depravation they begin to view themselves as not being good
enough to be cared for or cared about. Their birth-right to
self-confidence/self-esteem has been compromised. Thus, as an adult those
who have experience any form of depravation, they need to re-establish what
is their birth-right: Self-confidence/Self-esteem.
1.) Ask yourself, “What would be the worst outcome?” We tend to place
excess importance on potential problems—a.k.a.—Worrying ahead syndrome. We
have an infinite amount of energy so let’s apply it to creating
extraordinary relationships, advancing our careers and meeting our goals
INSTEAD of wasting that energy worrying. Take action on what you have
control over and minimize risks for what you don’t. Then invest your energy
wisely.
2.) Disengage the nagging, negative internal critical voice. That
negative internal critical voice can keep anyone stuck. To disengage the
internal voice, imagine a volume control and lower the volume. Or simply
change the internal voice to the Disney Channel. Do you think you could take
Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck seriously if they were criticizing you? The
point is to disengage the critical voice by altering the way it nags at you.
If you hear your own voice or a critical parent voice nagging you, it will
paralyze you. If you hear a funny voice, you laugh and maybe hear the irony
of your negative internal critic and continue onward.
3.) When doing something for the first time, imagine that you have
already done it. Close your eyes, then, vividly imagine you succeeding at
what you are planning to do for the first time. The mind does NOT know the
difference between something VIVIDLY imagined and something real. Make it
vivid by involving all 5 senses.
4.) Find someone who is already confident in the area of expertise you
need and watch how they do it. Model as many of their behaviors, attitudes,
values, and beliefs for the context you want to be confident in. How can you
do this? Talk with them if you have access to them. If you don’t have access
to them, get as much exposure to them as you can. This could be talking to
people who know the person and/or buying their products if they have some.
5.) Act “As-if.” Act as-if you already have the habit/behavior you
desire. If you were confident, “How would you be feeling? What would you be
doing? How would you be speaking? What would you be thinking? What would you
tell yourself—self-talk?” By asking yourself these questions, you compel
yourself to answer them by going into a confident state. You will then be
acting “As-if” you are confident. As you continue to act “As-If” you will
notice you are acting less and less as your behavior becomes a habit. Within
30 to 45 days you’ll develop it into a natural habit/behavior.
6.) Project yourself into the future and ask if what you’re faced with is
as onerous as you fear. This might be a bit morbid and yet this works
tremendously well. Imagine yourself on your deathbed looking back over your
life. You are surrounded by your friends and family. You’re reviewing your
life. Is what you’re faced with now even going to pop up? That’s highly
unlikely. Keeping things in proper perspective really diminishes fear.
7.) Remember that you lose out on 100% of the opportunities that you
never go for. Nothing ventured—Nothing gained. To get what you want, ask for
it. If you consistently ask people for what you want, you will get it. As
you think about your goals and what you are striving for, how effective
would it be for you to believe that several people out there want to and
would be willing to help you if you only ask? People will help because they
know they might need help in the future and you might be a source. Whether
that is true or not in the “real world” is irrelevant. The belief is
empowering, I invite you to adopt it.
Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD as an inspiratinal leader empowers people to
see life's issues as an opportunity for personal and spiritual growth.
Author, If I'd Only Known...Sexual Abuse in or out of the Family: A Guide to
Prevention, she is noted for her pioneering work in verbal, physical, sexual
abuse prevention and recovery.
http://www.gen-assist.com/book.asp
Article Source:
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dorothy_M._Neddermeyer,_PhD
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