Hidden Self Confidence
By Jim Sullivan
Peer independence is arguably the least understood aspect of self
confidence. Many people who are shy, or suffer from social anxiety, tell me
that they lack confidence. However, their shyness or social anxiety is only
one aspect of a constellation of qualities which combine to determine our
confidence profile. Understanding peer independence helps many people to
appreciate and build on their personal strengths.
Peer independence is the ability to ‘stick to your guns’ in the face of
opposition or dissent from your peers. Some individuals have exceptionally
high levels of peer independence, for which we should all be thankful. Peer
independent people are the heroes in our society, the ones with moral
courage who will stand up for truth and justice, regardless of fashion. Peer
independence is a special, and relatively rare, aspect of self confidence.
As a hypnotherapist specialising in confidence, self esteem and stress
management, I regularly work with people with low self esteem or who
perceive themselves to be lacking in confidence. Low self esteem can have
its roots in a variety of sources -- accidents of upbringing, inherited
disposition, recent misfortune. We are all vulnerable to this curse; just
consider the way you feel immediately after receiving an insult. Low self
esteem can affect anybody, with some of us more susceptible than others.
Yet when working with people who rate their own personal value quite
poorly, who profess themselves utterly lacking in confidence, I often find
that my clients have normal or even above-average levels of peer
independence. High levels of peer independence are typically seen in
leaders. Think of top politicians and business leaders. For me, the ultimate
peer independent person was Margaret Thatcher. Peer independent people are
iconoclasts -- they are not afraid to challenge convention.
When I find high levels of peer independence in a client I am always
intrigued by the way their depressed self-image interacts with the honesty,
integrity and refusal to compromise which are associated with peer
independence. These are interesting people -- frequently very caring,
stubborn and somewhat misunderstood. The first step in helping such people
to rebuild their confidence is to highlight their great strength. Because
peer independence is a wonderful quality, and deserves to be understood. It
can also be a social handicap; the peer independent person is rarely a
flatterer or charmer.
All manner of people can be helped with their self esteem issues. I
particularly love helping people who have high levels of peer independence,
because the gains can be so impressive. A peer independent person with high
self esteem is a force of nature -- and a force for good. Society needs
challengers, and a self confident, peer independent person can provide that
constructive challenge.
Jim Sullivan is a hypnotherapist specialising in confidence and self
esteem. For further information relating to peer independence, and to assess
your own peer independence and other confidence-related qualities, see
http://www.confidenceclub.net/content/peerindependence.php
Article Source:
http://EzineArticles.com/
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